A Mary Sue Gone Horribly Wrong
by Whelpmeister
Summary: When a certain girl gets WAY too wrapped up in the fandoms, a certain council of gods decide to take advantage. Whole strings of AUs, Existence of Mary Sue, and a satiric portrayal of god. Based on a variety of different anime/games. [AU HELL]
1. Prologue - God's Laughing Field

**Disclaimer - I own nothing. **

**~ Prologue – God's _Laughing_ Field~**

"_If there is a canon ending you don't like, there's always fanfiction. If those have unwanted endings too... Write your own."_

_- Unknow__n _

**A/N**: The prologue is based of a certain flash game that is called _God's Playing Field_, where a kid walks into god's office and starts playing on his computer while god is asleep. Then he tricks god to go to the elevator to a desolate Earth...

"CRASH!" Shina, a grade eleven girl, looked outside her window. It was an apocalyptic scene outside the window. Houses were crushed, flying hands were crushing people, thunderbolts were plenty, and fire pillars raged the premises. And for some reason or another, pianos were flying, and bowling balls could be seen at the horizon.

"What the hell... is THIS?!" Despite Shina's ratherobsession to horror flicks, as her parents called it, she was utterly shocked. One does not see pianos, flying out of no where. Not even in _Paranoiac_, where a mental protagonist starts seeing... things.

This scene would have continued, but **everything changed when god attacked**, or rather, _fell and broke the chimney of her house_.

"Ouch. My back..." An albino with the lapel "God" attached to his shirt collapsed right next to her _very _expensive computer.

Shina was not pleased. Not pleased at all. She does **not** care, **ANYBODY** who breaks, or _nearly_ breaks her precious, custom made, fortune-costing supercomputer (that is chock filled with otome games) will suffer. As much as choosing any true ending in _Yanderella_. **(A/N: Which is a terrible fate, for anyone...)**

"You... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MAH COMPUTER?!" Shina has officially lost it. It took god 8 sleeping doses to _calm her down_. And he sleeps almost _instantly_ with just one. "And... who are you?"

"I'm god. See this lapel here?" The albino frowned. _"Goodness, when have _**_I _**_started introducing myself to people?"_

"Prove it." Shina pokerfaced. _"Come at me, thief."_

"Your computer has exactly 314 otome games, 159 series of anime, 2653 episodes of anime, and 589 commissioned fanart." God cringed. "Oh. And runs... seven operating systems."

Done. God proved it using his unnatural knowledge in computers, despite the fact that he _still_ uses Windows XP.

"Wow. Guess you really are god." Shina sighed, then pointed to the window. "So, did you cause this mess?"

"Erm, no. This kid was playing _God's Playing Field,_ a game I just bought from TorrentzRUs, and kicked me out using the elevator?" God frowned. To explain his predicament to a _human_, he was not happy.

"What elevator?" Shina was curious why he did not arrive in it.

"I fell out of it. It should be somewhere..."

**~ Somewhere in Nevada, USA ~**

"YES! This metal box! It's so symmetric! IT'S PERFECT!" A _very_ pleased Death The Kid quickly examined the box for _hours_.

**~ Shina's House – Tokyo, Japan ~**

"Huh. I'm not sure. I fell out of it when a piano struck the thing. Also, can we kick the kid out of my office? I kind of want my computer back." God sighed yet again.

"Give me incentive."

"I will send you to any world you want."

"No Game No Life?" Shina was starting to get excited.

"Why not?"

"Deal." Shina was ready. She always wanted to visit a world where games controlled everyone. She even got her DDR mat ready. "Wait. If you're god, can't you kick him out using some magical force or whatnot?"

"Well... I suppose I could, but..." God yawned, and fell asleep. "...zzzZZZ..."

"God sure likes to sleep. Just... wonderful." Shina became the one sighing. "Hmm, a map?"

Shina noticed a map in god's hand. Apparently, to get to the office, they would have to pass through the "ladder of redemption", which was surprisingly near her house.

**~"Ladder of Redemption" - Tokyo, Japan~**

When Shina arrived at the map's X, she didn't see a ladder. The only thing special there were a bunch of tattered, old ropes which seemed to have come from Dollarama. It seemed to come from the sky, but from where Shina was at, there was no end.

"I... can't even..." Shina stood, eyes wide open. And stayed there until a certain god woke up.

"Oh. We're at the ladder of redemption." God wiped his eyes, and hoped that he would actually get some sleep tonight.

"Wait. **THIS** is the ladder of redemption? This... sketchy rope from Dollarama?" Shina was not pleased when she realized that maybe the Heavens were not as rich as she thought. She expected at least a ladder that would let her slide to the top within seconds.

"Yup. Time to start climbing. Deal with it. You should live... I think. It's been a while since I touched "_Life Design"."_ God made a small smile, and started climbing. Soon, a small light in his hands can be seen on his hands.

"What's that?" Shina asked.

"Anti-Rope Burn gloves." God smirked.

**~3 Hours Later~**

"_Huff...Huff..._ Just... how many more metres is it." Shina was exhausted. _"I think I'm going to faint any second now._"

"Huh?" God smiled. "We're here."

God snaps his fingers, and a bunch of angels reveal his office... which for some reason or another, Soundtrack from _Persona_ can be heard from, until Shina kicked the door down like a boss.

"Oh, ho. So you finally returned..." A kid with the lapel "Visitor" on his shirt appeared, and picked up a piano.

"**You**..." God grinded his teeth, but yawned. And fell asleep. AGAIN.

"Bwahaha. You sleep again. I will make sure I'll silence the other visitor too.." The evil visitor laughed. But was unaware of Shina's secret weapon...

Shina reached into her Free! Rin body pillow, she took out her weapon of choice.

The Lucky Star Season 1 box set.

"No... it's... IMPOSSIBLE! Not LUCKY STAR!" The evil visitor cringed in fear when he caught sight of (in his mind) the dreaded DVD. Unable to look at it any further, he dashed out of the office, tried to climb down the rope, got rope burn, and fell to his death.

And thus ended the reign of the evil? Visitor.

**~_Another_ hour later...~**

"Huh. Where's the visitor?" God woke up, and found his office peaceful and quiet.

"Fell of the ladder of redemption." Shina smiled. "Now take me to some other world."

"Yeah, yeah, just gimme a minute." God scoffed at Shina's impatience, much to Shina's chagrin. He then proceeded to go to his computer.

"sudo su && mv /TET/2001922/*" God typed into his computer, before rashly pressing enter. And when he did, Shina blanked out.

_Now Loading. Please wait a moment._


	2. Prologue II - A Freelancer is Bored

**~Chapter 1 – A Freelancer is _Bored_~**

Shina woke up in a dimly lit room with stained glass windows and crosses everywhere. It looked like a church, but something was off.

"Where... am I?" Shina was scared. She thought god sent her to a colourful, playful world of Disboard, NOT this dismal... room with noth-, _almost_ nothing there. After looking more carefully, she found a rather sketchy garbage bag.

"Hmm, what's this?" Inside the bag, there was a scroll, a coil of rope, a diary, and a handgun. Shina opened the said scroll.

_Shina,_

_Before you leave for Disboard, God forgot to tell you a few things. First of all, he, no, __**the Executive Council of Legendary Deities**__, has a job for you. But first, I shall explain the other objects in this bag._

_First of all, we have the __**thread of friendship.**__ No, it's not imported from the __**Little Pony Union**__, but instead obtained somewhere else. This rope has very strange powers – __**DO NOT, **__I repeat__**, DO NOT**__ hold this string while someone else is touching it. __As the __**thread of friendship**__, this rope will make any couple tied in it fall for each other, and find themselves in __**SS OTP**__, regardless of Gender. It is not recommended to tie Haruhi Suzumiya in this piece of rope._

_Then we have the __**fanfiction diary**__. Unlike a certain other world, you will __**not**__ die if this book is destroyed. Well, not physically, anyways. I think you will like this one. It is actually an ebook with __**infinite battery and connection to FFN**__. Use it to make decisions if you want... just do not show anyone any lemons about them. Especially Weiss Schnee._

_Lastly, we have the __**Fate/Farewell**__. The most lethal weapon in your arsenal. Even more than the lemons in the fanfiction diary. This gun will not kill anyone instantly, but instead will change their fate so that it will induce many feels._

_**Fate/Farewell**__ brings me to the assignment stated earlier. Research indicates that morale in the anime/manga fandoms is too high, and must be decreased by sadder endings. Make people in the connecting world (our world, __called the connecting world because it links all the universes of anime/manga) shed a few more tears by making more emotional character deaths._

_**The Executive Council of Legendary Deities (ECLD) **__is a council of deities that have sworn to protect all the universes. Except YHVH... hate that guy. __In any case..._

**~ 10 Years Ago ~**

"AGIDYNE!" YHVH was testing his magic spells, so he wondered if his strongest magic spell could fuse the glass of a container with the water inside. Unknowingly, he accidentally melted a pet goldfish along with the bowl.

"Snap." YHVH cursed. "Some god is going to be pissed."

Unknowingly, that god was the main god, or the god of the connecting world.

"Hmm, I think it's time to feed my..." God got his fish food ready for his dear goldfish, and was not content to see a melted glass/goldfish... thing, and YHVH whistling innocently.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing..." YHVH started to shiver.

**~ 10 Seconds Later ~**

Thus, the **real** reason YHVH left humanity alone is because he is trapped in God's Lecture Field, where beings are bowled over with pencils and microphones, and poor Megatron was trying to help his poor lord.

But that... is another story.

**~Strange World – Back to 10 Years Later ~**

_As this letter was saying before you probably had mental flashbacks on the matter, **ECLD** has given this mission for you, and **only** for you. Do **not** disclose this mission to anyone else. When you are ready, proceed to move out of the shining door that spawned when you were reading this painfully long letter._

_Best of luck, kid._

_- God's Computer_

_P.S. Do not attempt to contact God right now. He's taking another map._

_P.S.S. I totally ship Esdeath with Honest._

Shina cringed at the last postscript, and proceeded to to pass the shining door.


End file.
